I'm a NOOB - Please help - Database integration

[alina]

Okay, so I am a designer and programmer wanna be. I can deftly navigate the basics of web page creation, but I want my pages to be functional. What I really want to learn is how to integrate databases into websites - such as user accounts and secure website areas, newsletter blasts to users in a certain category, etc. Does anyone have any insight on books (or even programming language, yes, I'm that retarded)? I'd rather not use PHP if it can be avoided, my hosting package doesn't like it. Please, no flames, just a few of your faves. Thanks!
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[Horus_Kol]

does your hosting package support any kind of server-side script? PHP and ASP are the most common ones, but there are others like PERL and Python...

I can't comment on books - I mostly learnt my server-side (PHP and ASP) knowledge from setting a series of goals, spending time on the PHP manual (or, for ASP, www.4guysfromrolla.com ), and having a go... sometimes I asked questions here...