You what???

[Horus_Kol]

Just been reading Feedback in New Scientist.
There was a short bit in it about euphemisms used in the aerospace industry in place of more simple, but possibly shocking, terms:


Fire - uncontrolled thermal event

Explosion -spontaneous rapid disassembly event

Bursting - unplanned loss of containment

and my favourite:

Crash - deconstructive deceleration



Now for the game - you have to come up with a nice technical euphemism for a word or event, and then produce a new word for the next player:


Starting with:

Network Failure

[ExtraDog]

Network Failure - Digital Communications Outage


Next word: Death

[Horus_Kol]

Death:
Cessation of Bodily Function


Murder

[Pegasus]

Murder: A cessation of body functions caused by person, persons or events as yet undetermined.

Sheesh! You guys are getting gruesome!

Next event: I spilled coffee on the keyboard.

[Horus_Kol]

I spilled coffee on the keyboard.
Unforseen Liquefaction of Input Device


Being given the sack

[ExtraDog]

Being given the sack Employment termination event

Printer Jam

[vydana]

paper jam

a malfunction in a electronic media to paper media transfer device

writing php

[pyrexyn]

writing php

Parse error: parse error in /usr/httpdocs/test.php on line 1

("Writing PHP" assumed to be a negative thing, since that's what euphemisms are needed for)

Computer gets hacked

[mettebe]

Computer gets hacked
300 pound 16 year striving for attention by taking advantage of computer illiterates.


Playing video games

[pyrexyn]

Playing Video Games

Situation & Event Simulation for Entertainment

Drowning

[-iNsOmNiAc-]

Drowning

Asphyxiation by means of water filling the lungs

karaoke

[pyrexyn]

Someone pleaes edit the first post to include the rule that the word must be somewhat shocking or a negative thing. Euphemisms are not exactly long synonyms. They try to cover the truth up so things don't seem so bad. Or something like that. "Karaoke" may be a negative thing, but... I don't know. Does anyone know what I'm talking about?

[Horus_Kol]

no euphemisms need not disguise something shocking... it is merely a way of saying something so that the real meaning may be hidden...

although it has more effect when used to disguise more shocking words.

[Goldilocks]

karaoke

Unnecessary affliction of unmelodious singing on an audience of people.

electrocution

[Pegasus]

electrocution
A state wherein an electromotive force is transmitted through organic material, often resulting in the transmigration of the ectoplasmic substances of the organic material.

thunderstorm

Peg

[Horus_Kol]

thunderstorm
a sudden in-rush of dark cloud accompanied by a sound and light show



File not found

[Goldilocks]

File not found
The electronic document is located in an unlocatable location.

tap dancing

[Horus_Kol]

Tap Dancing
Rhythmic motion of the body, possibly in time with dripping fawcets...


Out of Stock

[ExtraDog]

Out of Stock
Inventory shortage

War

[Goldilocks]

War

Violent conflict between two or more opposing sides with the utilisation of weaponry.


snoring

[transmothra]

snoring

audible articulation of sleep-induced para-eupnea


bounced [pay-] check

[Horus_Kol]

bounced cheque
a) "No really, it's in the mail"
b) "Damn bank, messing things up again"
c) Rubberised redelivery of payment system


Lost keys

[Goldilocks]

Lost keys

misplaced accessibility assistance tools.

Fit of the giggles

[ExtraDog]

Fit of the giggles
spontaneous mirth episode

hangover

[transmothra]

hangover

conviviality induced gastro-cranial equilibrium inversion


bad first date

[Pegasus]

Originally posted by transmothra
bad first date Negative premiere social engagement

sleepover

Peg

[RobRoyRogers]

sleepover pubescent assembly of perpetual non-repose

paper cut

[Horus_Kol]

Paper cut
compressed carbonaceous fibre slice

Traffic Jam

[Lizzy-of-Dab]

Traffic Jam
being forced to remain in one's motorized vehicule, put up with other such people in varying moods of anoyance, anger, and/or idiocy, while having nothing good to enhance one's hearing as it is being blasted apart by other said stuck individuals who insist on sounding exidingly loud klaxons in a mundane effort to 'assist' other drivers in the same predicament.


how's that?

[Horus_Kol]

that's more of a description than a euphemism, lizzy...

[wiffles]

Traffic Jam
Undesired congestion of motorised vehicles

Bad hair day

[Horus_Kol]

Bad hair day
Volumisation without structure for extended period


Mother-in-law visits

[RobRoyRogers]

Mother-in-law visits
Volumisation without structure for extended period? Just teasing... though it could apply. ;) how about...

inter-spousal familial contact.


bruised ego

[RobRoyRogers]

bruised ego

No one? Okay, I'll answer this one. I like this thread, don't wanna see it die.

unexpected temporary self-esteem shrinkage

new word:
stubbed toe

[Goldilocks]

stubbed toe

sore foot digit caused by unexpected impact with hard object.

earthquake

[Horus_Kol]

earthquake
did the earth move for you too?
*ahem*
random vibration of crustal rock due to thermal flow below


Stop and Search

[RobRoyRogers]

Originally posted by Horus_Kol
earthquake
did the earth move for you too?
*ahem* :rofl:

Stop and Search
Not quite sure what that's in reference to... is that a euphemism for something else already? :P

[Goldilocks]

Stop and Search

An act of halting and scrutinizing carried out by a member of the police force.

**I don't think that's a euphanism, sorry!**


Blue screen of death

[Horus_Kol]

Blue screen of death
Random event to make the computing experience more interesting.


Shopping

[alienfish]

Shopping
Event in which the male population is tortured by the female population.

Severed Limb

[bendman]

Severed Limb

involutary appendage amputation

Blown Speakers

[ExtraDog]

Blown Speakers
Orally gratified orators :pimp:

Bad Movie

[gildash2]

blatent misuse of valuable time

love between two computer geeks

[Josh 4444 S]

Love between two computer geeks
Interfacing

Losing your keys

[alienfish]

Losing your keys
The misplacing of important vehicle objects, which may result in latenes.

Falling down a well

[Josh 4444 S]

Falling down a well
The usually unfortunate act of nearing yourself to the earth's core

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