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Jason
02-09-2001, 04:20 PM
Remember the "Spam, eggs and spam, eggs bacon and spam, eggs bacon toast and spam" sketch? Well now it belongs to the ages.

The below was copied from:
http://www.spam.com/ci/ci_in.htm

SPAM and the Internet

You've probably seen, heard or even used the term "spamming" to refer to the act of sending unsolicited commercial email (UCE), or "SPAM" to refer to the UCE itself. Following is our position on the relationship between UCE and our trademark SPAM.

Use of the term "SPAM" was adopted as a result of the Monty Python skit in which a group of Vikings sang a chorus of "SPAM, SPAM, SPAM . . . " in an increasing crescendo, drowning out other conversation. Hence, the analogy applied because UCE was drowning out normal discourse on the Internet.

We do not object to use of this slang term to describe UCE, although we do object to the use of our product image in association with that term. Also, if the term is to be used, it should be used in all lower-case letters to distinguish it from our trademark SPAM, which should be used with all uppercase letters.

This slang term does not affect the strength of our trademark SPAM. In a Federal District Court case involving the famous trademark STAR WARS owned by LucasFilms, the Court ruled that the slang term used to refer to the Strategic Defense Initiative did not weaken the trademark and the Court refused to stop its use as a slang term. Other examples of famous trademarks having a different slang meaning include MICKEY MOUSE, to describe something as unsophisticated; TEFLON, used to describe President Reagan; and CADILLAC, used to denote something as being high quality.

Position Statement on "Spamming"

We oppose the act of "spamming" or sending unsolicited commercial e-mail (UCE). We have never engaged in this practice, although we have been victimized by it. If you have been one of those who has received UCE with a return address using our website address of SPAM.com, it wasn't us. It's easy and commonplace for somebody sending UCE to simply adopt a fake header ID, which disguises the true source of the UCE and makes it appear that it is coming from someone else. If you have or do receive UCE with this header ID, please understand that it didn't come from us.

Other "SPAM" Websites

This is the one and only official SPAM Website, brought to you by the makers of SPAM Luncheon Meat. All of the others have been created by somebody else. We are not associated with those other websites and are not responsible for their content. As a Company, we are opposed to content that is obscene, vulgar or otherwise not "family friendly." We support positive family values and you can count on us for "safe surfing" by your children.
-END

At least the people at Hormel are good sports :D

Downright Ignorant
02-09-2001, 04:36 PM
http://www.ironworks.com/comedy/python/spam.htm

Mr. Bun: Morning.

Waitress: Morning.

Mr. Bun: Well, what you got?

Waitress: Well, there's egg and bacon; egg, sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg, bacon and spam; egg, bacon, sausage and spam; spam, bacon, sausage and spam; spam, egg, spam, spam, bacon and spam; spam, sausage, spam, spam, spam, bacon, spam, tomato and spam; spam, spam, spam, egg and spam; (Vikings start singing in background) spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, baked beans, spam, spam, spam and spam.

manifesto
02-09-2001, 05:33 PM
do you have the basic book of british birds?

SteveS235
02-09-2001, 08:39 PM
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Jason
As a Company, we are opposed to content that is obscene, vulgar or otherwise not "family friendly."

Hmmmm.....I guess they never looked at the ingedients! :D


And now for something completely different....

"I'm a lumberjack and I'm ok......."

"Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more, say no more"

fonzerelli_79
02-17-2001, 03:48 PM
Would anyone like a wafer thin mint?

Jason
02-17-2001, 03:53 PM
I just bought a 3lb bag of York Peppermint Patties.

You think I'm kidding?

cloud9
11-03-2001, 06:37 PM
Originally posted by Jason
You think I'm kidding?


:D :D :D :D does anyone take jason seriously? :D :D :D :D


ever? :D

htmlgirl
11-03-2001, 09:15 PM
that parrots dead............

no its not............

its just sleeping..............



htmlgirl...........

montroze
11-03-2001, 10:27 PM
Can't beat the world hide and seek game, boy that goes back a lot of years since its been on TV here...yeah the one where the one guy counts and the other hops a jet... lol

Option1
11-03-2001, 11:07 PM
I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition!

Jason
11-04-2001, 01:20 AM
Originally posted by Option1
I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition!

Nobody expects the Spanisn Inquisition!

AlCapone
11-04-2001, 03:42 PM
Monty Python is the all time great comedy show. Nothing will ever beat it. Full stop. Period. Dot after a sentence. Nothing. Ever. Understand? I shall now repeat this message.
Monty Python is the all time great comedy show. Nothing will ever beat it. Full stop. Period. Dot after a sentence. Nothing. Ever. Understand? I shall now repeat this message.
Monty Python is the all time great comedy show. Nothing will ever beat it. Full stop. Period. Dot after a sentence. Nothing. Ever. Understand? I shall now repeat this message.
Monty Python is the all time great comedy show. Nothing will ever beat it. Full stop. Period. Dot after a sentence. Nothing. Ever. Understand? I shall now repeat this message.

No one told him he'd be there forever...

PCheese
11-05-2001, 10:09 AM
The best sketch ever has to be...

Customer: Hello, I would like to buy a fish license, please.
Shopkeeper: A what?
C: A license for my pet fish, Eric.
S: How did you know my name was Eric?
C: No no no, my fish's name is Eric, Eric the fish. He's an halibut.
S: What?
C: He is...an...halibut.
S: You've got a pet halibut?
C: Yes. I chose him out of thousands. I didn't like the others, they were all too flat.
S: You must be a looney.
C: I am not a looney! Why should I be attired with the epithet looney merely because I have a pet halibut? I've heard tell that Sir Gerald Nabardo has a pet prawn called Simon (you wouldn't call him a looney); furthermore, Dawn Pailthorpe, the lady show-jumper, had a clam, called Stafford, after the late Chancellor, Allan Bullock has two pikes, both called Chris, and Marcel Proust had an haddock! So, if you're calling the author of 'A la recherche du temps perdu' a looney, I shall have to ask you to step outside!
S: Alright, alright, alright. A license.
C: Yes.
S: For a fish.
C: Yes.
S: You are a looney.
C: Look, it's a bleeding pet, isn't it? I've got a license for me pet dog Eric, and I've got a license for me pet cat Eric...
S: You don't need a license for your cat.
C: I bleeding well do and I got one. He can't be called Eric without it--
S: There's no such thing as a bloody cat license.
C: Yes there is!
S: Isn't!
C: Is!
S: Isn't!
C: I bleeding got one, look! What's that then?
S: This is a dog license with the word 'dog' crossed out and 'cat' written in in crayon.
C: The man didn't have the right form.
S: What man?
C: The man from the cat detector van.
S: The looney detector van, you mean.
C: Look, it's people like you what cause unrest.
S: What cat detector van?
C: The cat detector van from the Ministry of Housinge.
S: Housinge?
C: It was spelt like that on the van (I'm very observant!). I never seen so many bleeding aerials. The man said that their equipment could pinpoint a purr at four hundred yards! And Eric, being such a happy cat, was a piece of cake.
S: How much did you pay for this?
C: Sixty quid, and eight for the fruit-bat.
S: What fruit-bat?
C: Eric the fruit-bat.
S: Are all your pets called Eric?
C: There's nothing so odd about that: Kemal Ataturk had an entire menagerie called Abdul!
S: No he didn't!
C: Did!
S: Didn't!
C: Did, did, did, did, did and did!
S: Oh, all right.
C: Spoken like a gentleman, sir. Now, are you going to give me a fish license?
S: I promise you that there is no such thing: you don't need one.
C: In that case, give me a bee license.
S: A license for your pet bee?
C: Yes.
S: Called Eric? Eric the Bee?
C: No.
S: No?
C: No, Eric the Half-Bee. He had an accident.
S: You're off your chump.
C: Look, if you intend by that utilization of an obscure colloquiallism to imply that my sanity is not up to scratch, or indeed to deny the semi-existence of my little chum Eric the Half-Bee, I shall have to ask you to listen to this! Take it away, Eric the orchestra leader!.......

A one... two.... A one.. two.. three..four...

[piano intro]

Half a bee, philosophically, must, ipso facto, half not be.
But half the bee
has got to be,
vis a vis
its entity - do you see?

But can a bee
be said to be
or not to be
an entire bee
when half the bee
is not a bee
due to some ancient injury?

Singing...

La dee dee, 1 2 3,
Eric the half a bee.
A B C D E F G,
Eric the half a bee.

Is this retched demi-bee,
half asleep upon my knee,
some freak from a menagerie?
No! It's Eric the half a bee.

Fiddle dee dum,
Fiddle dee dee,
Eric the half bee.

Ho ho ho,
Tee hee hee,
Eric the half a bee.

I love this hive employee-ee-ee [with buzzing in background]
bisected accidentally
one summer afternoon by me
I love him carnally.

He loves him carnally... [together]
...semi-carnally

[spoken]

The end

"Cyril Connelly?"
No! "Semi-carnally"
Oh!

Cyril Connelly [sung softly and slowly]

Android
11-05-2001, 11:03 AM
.....THE ARGUMENT CLINIC.

No, it isn't!
Yes, it is!
No, it isn't!
Yes, it is!
No, it isn't!
Yes, it is!

This is just a contradicton of terms!
No, it isn't!
Yes, it is!